Visor of Urgency

So, things aren't as calm as they were back in July, but I knew this day would come. I just didn't know exactly how it would look.

My employment ended at the end of August as planned. It was supposed to start again the first of this month but hasn't and it's a bit of a mess. I don't know why decisions take so long and who I'm waiting for to make those decisions anymore. While I'd love for employment I must expect/assume some measure of upfuckery.

Some of the dust has settled however. As expected I see the situation more clearly now that I have the visor of urgency, so to speak. Now more than in a long time I must choose what to do with my situation. I've been thinking over the years about starting my own small company but have put it off. Now, if I get hired again by my previous employer I have to start a company, and if I don't get hired by them I also have to start a company to try to do my own thing.

I've been thinking back and forth about what to call my company as well and have gone through a whole lot of options. Mercetron was one of them, but Google is stupid and I don't want people to associate my company name with something so stupid as the thing Google "suggests" when searching for it. Also, it's hard to pronounce correctly for people and the spelling is even harder to try to explain. Tonight I got the idea of what I wanted to call my company and it's a rather unique name that's been with me for years. Also, it's kind of new in that I haven't used it much at all online. It won't be associated with any baggage I might have left behind unknowingly.

I won't say what the name is before I've gotten around to registering it though. That's just how I do things.

And what would I do with my company? Well, I am a game designer and a programmer. Or maybe rather programmer and game designer... I've always felt that my technical skill is programming, and that game design just comes natural somehow. I get ideas either myself or from other sources and I grind them up in my head to create something bigger... I iterate and iterate and iterate. I test scenarios, I continually ask whether a feature or mechanic serves a purpose or is superfluous. I remove stuff, I add stuff, I see the game grow and breathe and evolve into something as if it has always been what it will become. I love it.

I've been thinking table-top games. I know the language of the platform and the compiler is relatively easy to handle. Prototyping is fast as well. It's also extremely challenging.

Today I bought a pen for drawing. Not at all the one I set out to buy but after half an hour of testing more or less all the pens they had and weighed the usefulness factor of this and that one, I settled for a rather simple and thick black marker pen. I like thick and deliberate lines. I've never really been a fan of pencils. I'm thinking I really want a small Cintiq, but it's no way near cheap enough not to feel just stupid to buy. Maybe if I get something going in the future it'll be worth it - until then a pen will do.

This week, Swedish Game Conference in Skövde. I'm going but have no idea who's going to be there or what they're going to talk about. It'll probably be interesting anyhow so I'll see when I get there.