Run Over

So, today I found out that my project leader (for the project I ranted about here) had taken the professional flash-developer company that were hired to help me finish the almost finished project, cut almost all communication with me, and gone ahead and told this company to do everything over from scratch (without looking at the existing code) because apparently a few bugs in the interface naturally means that EVERYTHING is broken (oh my god, one of the walls of the house isn't painted so let's tear the house down start over). The entire system, with assets and kanji database and everything. So... I don't really know what I'm doing at this point, and my employer (who hired me to do this project for the external project leader) just shake their head and wonder what's going on as well. More on that later probably.

Also, getting slightly run over at home as well. I'm so tired of getting less than half of what I'm asking for which is already relatively little - while giving my time, my effort, most of my money and now my sanity.

This has got to end, and I promise - I'm keeping my dignity.

I'm quitting one of my courses, the one about book-keeping. It's just not my thing, but it feels good to have gone to a few classes and at least learned some basics. I might not understand exactly how, but now I understand why. I'm still attending the course in business planning though, and it feels just up my alley. During last class's discussion about whether or not various business ideas would work I think I might have been a bit too eager to talk to be honest.

I love business ideas, and I tend to see possibilities and opportunities in things that others just frown about or see only problems that in my eyes are usually quite easy to work around. I even get frustrated when I see friends with obvious possibilities for success and they just... don't. I have a friend that makes awesome music, good enough to be able to sell easily and with a great shot at becoming popular at services such as Spotify but... nope. Or, my partner here, who is creative and has proven that he is able to produce accessories and even clothes that others say they love, and if he tried he could probably easily make a few of these a month and make a nice bit of money at it but... no. And it just goes on and on.

Personally, I feel I often have ideas but seldom the power to make use of them, something I'm hoping to change with the courses I'm attending and the upcoming project (which I'll get back to later as things progress). I believe I have an eye for seeing when an idea could potentially grow and kick ass, and when it probably would be a waste of time and effort.

Time to sleep.